The key is not ‘winning’ some inner-struggle against ourselves so that our life can begin. It’s about getting out of our heads so we can live now, as fully as possible, with our past, our memories, our fears, our foibles, our insecurities, our sadness, and all the other unavoidable, extraneous bullshit we gather on this dusty road of life.
The kind of personal development I’m interested in (and I try to write) is the kind that reminds us that we can put down the weapons and shiny objects and just… start living. Sure, the battle might be raging on in the background. But when we peace-out, it no longer involves us.
Actually true personal development involves both sections you mentioned. There is struggle, and there is peace and contentment. Both will be part and parcel of the journey as long as we are on this side of heaven. But what is important is that the struggle is worth it in the end — the convictions, the personal statement and all the other aspects.