Thanks for sharing this Megan. A similar narrative to yours has run through my head many times. I was in a relationship that ended very badly and now I understand that, much as I may sometimes yearn for a partner with whom to share my dreams and aspirations, I am happy being by myself and with my own dreams and thoughts. I can only love someone to the extent that I love myself, warts and all.
Yet the yearnings still remain and sometimes when I meet someone whom I think may be the one, and that dream is shattered, the hurt is as real as if a knife touched my heart and cut my soul to shreds. But I hold on to faith in God and I know that one day, there will be an answer to the quest and journey. Till then, I am happily (and occasionally very scared too) embarking on a journey beyond my final frontier.